Sunday, February 26, 2012

C'est dream

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.


Monday, February 20, 2012

I'm mecha, you're orga ;)

I've been feeling really sad for the past few days. I know I'm not alone that feel awful in some days/week when your self esteem is just shot. From other people's view, I have it all. But honestly, no. It is a very different story from my point of view. But not anymore hihi, I'm happy right now that I've got my appetite back.

I'm currently sitting on my favourite armchair with my favourite drink (Bundaberg ginger beer). Umm I'm pretty sure I don't have anything stunningly poignant to say. I just read a novel called 'Its Not Summer Without You' by Jenny Han. The story was about Isabel who just wants everything to stay the same, because change means moving on. I enjoyed the book. I could not help but laugh and cry through the entire book. You should get one.
Warning : cuss here and there.

I'm going to Shah Alam on the 3rd of March yay ;) I'm going to meet my friends, I'll roger you guys later. And for 22nd,  results is out. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.

So sit back, relax and read my favourite poem.

Remember me- I said
to myself, yesterday.
remember today's happiness
to carry yourself through
the sorrows of tomorrow.

by this, you may keep yourself
so I tried.

But we are creatures of the moment
we live for seconds
so we may live through days;
and days are all
we shall remember
when we look back upon years.

To hell and back

Back when I was a girl, I was having symptoms and was ignoring them. Then my parents made me go to the hospital after I suddenly fell while playing with my cousins. We went to our local hospital and had an MRI, i think? I can't remember. They looked at my results and saw a soft grey white tissue in aggregate of 3cm on the right side of my head. I had the surgery ASAP, a few weeks later because lymph nodes of the head increased both in size and in number. Below is the actual picture.

Benign Follicular Hyperlasia of Lymph Node

Sunday, February 19, 2012


Nothing comes to mind as I lay here typing away endlessly thinking about appropriate text to follow. It's so quite inside this house, I can echo through the walls -__-" My family don't speak much and we eat alone at different times. We're not trying to avoid each other, um coincidence maybe? But I still love them, always and forever.

Your best friend is happy, of course she is, she has her new boyfriend who loves her.
Your mum chilling around with her friend, leaving you all alone at home when you needed her the most.
Your brother just got home, after partying with his friends, with a big smile on his face-at least he's happy.
And then you looked at yourself in the mirror, and was like 'what's the point?' You've tried so hard to get through to people, but then you think. Who. Who the hell is going to make you happy?

Conclusion is, that's life. Dont obsess over problems no matter how big or small. Or you may forget who you are which is the scariest of all things. You just got to push through it and have a smile on your face.

Estoy triste

I'm sad right now like I'm going to cry and I don't know why. Nothing is making me happy. One second I'm happy then I get all quiet.

Whenever pain increase,
Two tears come out of my eyes,
Many protest stop on my lips,
Many tears changed into moaning,
I want that I openly crying,
But only two tears come out of my eyes,
Today I am sad.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

A little something

A dark morning somewhere in Malaysia, she was accompanied by her parents, entering a room crowded with toddlers and hopeful parents. She sat on the chair which her mother told her too. She looked at her surroundings and the girl next to her whispered 'what's your name? I'm Rina', she answered 'Anne'. Ever since then, they had become nearly inseparable. They walked to school together, shared so many memories for only a year. She moved to another 'prison' nearer to her house. She studied there for about 6 months. One day while the teacher was explaining something on the blackboard, her mother came in & said 'Pack your books and belongings honey' 'Okay' she answered. On their way home, she was told that they were going to move to another place.

On a Monday afternoon in 2005, she sat at the balcony, watching other kids playing trampoline. She wanted to swim with her little brother, unfortunately it was winter. Her father came to her,he brought her to Lake Rotorua where she and her little brother running around crazily to scare birds away. She sat on a bench a while later, watching her little brother, sometimes smiling by herself, thinking why does she have two twin brothers who doesn't even care about her. She wants a sister. Her father shouted from the car 'Anne, get in, we're going back' She fell asleep with her dreams in the car.

Blue Mountain 2007, it was winter. She sat in the car, kids are walking passed her left window, throwing snow at each other. She was eating pie. Nobody knows whats on her mind. She opened her windows and stared up into heavens. The clouds were moving lazily. Her hand reached out the window to set her hand on the snow. She feels uncomfortable, cold. She put on her sweater and scarf. 'What are you waiting for?' her mom asked. She smiled and get off the car. She helps her mom to put on gloves to her little brother's tiny hands. She felt something hits her right shoulder. She turned around. Her father was like 'snow fight?', 'bring it on' she said silently. For once in a lifetime, she felt true happiness in her life.

January 2010, her father asked her 'Your life is my life, so tell me your decision','Mmmmm'. For the gabazillion times, she moved to another school. Her first kinder when she was four, for a year. Moved to another kinder nearer to her house, for six months. Another city, another kinder for a year. She started her elementary school at the same city for 2 years. On 2003, she moved back to her hometown. Went to another school for 3 years. When she was 13, she went to this school(Im not telling) for a day, yeah a day because she hated the surroundings. Moved to another school, again for six months. Received a letter from a cluster school, and again she moved. She studied there for about two years and moved once again and graduate. She met a lot of friend, learned and experienced a lot.

February 2012 in the afternoon, she sat alone in her room, stared into the rising sun. She thought of life, it's black and white. The whole world was in a swirl, and there she could finally witness the dance of life. And at the end, was her truth revealing itself. She smiled.


My favourite movie. It is about a robot boy programmed to love the woman who adopted him, only to have her abandon him. Also, one of the saddest movie I have ever seen. The ending always gets me. This movie has touched my heart so much that I began to cry whenever I think about it, especially when David's mother left him in the forest. You should check it out.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


What is our life? A play of passion, Our mirth the music of division, Our mother's wombs the tiring-houses be, Where we are dressed for this short comedy. Heaven the judicious sharp spectator is, That sits and marks still who doth act amiss. Our graves that hide us from the setting sun Are like drawn curtains when the play is done. Thus march we, playing, to our latest rest, Only we die in earnest, that's no jest.

Sir Walter Raleigh

Hello Amigos

So I'm a new blogger. I've made this blog to express myself so my wild thoughts won't stuck in my head and drive me crazy. Hopefully I could connect with other blogger somehow. And I'll try to blog as often as time allows me too, um Im kinda lazy sometimes so toodles ;)