From 48kg to 40kg, it is something, it is a demon, it's something that comes in there. I can't control it you can't control it. No one can. I can't fight it. I don't know what to do. It's half me and half this, you know, different. And I'm still learning to push it back. In the beginning I tried to fight it but it won't let me, the voice in my head won't go out oh you don't understand. Listen to the good fairy Anne.