That's for a start. Nothing much happened besides chilling until 3AM while they were drunk and I joined the crazy happiness. And no, I wasn't drinking, I promise. I didn't had a good sleep because a friend of mine encountered a ghost outside and her boyfriend and her sisters boyfriend had to sleep with us. I was alone, for sure. Wasn't that sad? A couple on the bed, another couple on top of my head and then there's me, with my blanket. Well, at least they felt safe and I was okay.
I am a total abyss.
And there is nothing left but the voluminous abysses, the immobility, the cold.
I am no longer in a relationship. We decided to separate, ending our 2 years of relationship. Something touched me, something that made me think about part of us which insists on drawing profiles on prison walls. Oh, I do have feelings for him, still. I could tell you about his scars, his veins, his hair and his expressions. I could talk about it all night long, but I better not.
"Goodnight, I would love to hear your voice sometimes."
"Goodnight, call me too."
I've never heard about him, since. I haven't deleted or change anything yet. I will when I am okay. Our meaning has been lost. But it was then that for the first time I perceived the presence of that thing I didn't understand which had something to do with happiness and memory, and towards which slowly, heavily I began to walk. In the past,when I had a pain and it passed away, I was happy; now I am merely relieved, while there is this bitter feeling in me 'only to be well again, nothing more'.
I have a question. What if we awake one day, all of us... and find ourselves utterly unable to read?